Honoring Mom
First published in the Beaumont Enterprise on Mother's Day 2008
Single mothers far too often are ostracized
No contest. The Single Mother is the heroine.
What she does
She loves and adores her children just as other mothers do. She perseveres in mothering through all her heartaches as the children struggle to adapt to their disappointments. She delays her dreams and instills hope in their hearts. She endures thankless jobs and encourages her children to dream. She performs the mundane chores and keeps hoping for a brighter future. She often receives no financial assistance. And yet society accuses her. If she divorced, she is acted selfishly. If her husband abuses her, she chose wrongly. Even the widow with children is not considered a whole, but an incomplete family unit.
How is it we. . .
How is it we don’t see—or refuse to acknowledge—mothers stay to raise the children while—men leave. And yet we discriminate against the mother with headlines like “Are Single Moms Ruining American.” How is it we judge the single moms as the victims, not from another, but victims of their own choices?
How is it we can allow so many of our children’s fathers to escape paying for the basic essentials while the single mothers can’t support their children without a good education and can’t get an education without the funds to pay for it and for the childcare required while they do?
How is it we are not outraged that in 2002 nearly 40% of female-headed families with children under 18 officially lived in poverty? Economic disadvantage leads to a multitude of other problems.
How is it the single mother is left alone to shoulder the consequences for a choice she didn’t make alone? Rarely do any of millions of single moms intentionally plan to raise their children alone without the support of a partner. While it is true single mom families come in various styles most come to it after a defeat such as death or divorce. Expectations of raising children in a two-parent home are shattered. Their disappointment is compounded when their economic status declines rapidly.
Are we refusing to accept obvious solutions due to our preconceived notions? Haven’t we all made mistakes and poor choices? There are ways to break this cycle.
Break the cycle
Recently I visited an establishment that addresses the primary obstacles facing single mothers. The Buckner Family Place in Lufkin collaborates with government agencies and Angelina College to provide housing and childcare for single parent families striving for self sufficiency. Here the mom and her children rediscover their optimism, and through hard work renew their hope.
Buckner
As stated in their brochure, “Buckner Family Place programs help participants break the cycle of welfare dependence, reduce domestic violence in homes, and eliminate incidents of child abuse while building stronger families through security and education.”
After meeting with administrators I met several of the moms. I saw how a genuine caring program can ‘create futures’ for moms and their children. It is hard and intense work for a time with a goal of self sufficiency.
Mothers are given the gift of hope. Hope goes a long way towards creating a future. In the U.S. over ten million single mothers carry the load, continue on, and hope for a better day. The hope perched in her soul keeps her going.
Children of single moms
Regardless of common thought children raised by a single mother, especially one with education can do very well. Many successful people were raised by single mothers. Ed Bradley, CBS news correspondent, Maya Angelou, Pulitzer Prize, Tony, and Emmy Award winner, Lady Bird Johnson, Oprah, and Mother Teresa were all raised by a single mother.
I am happily remarried for almost twelve years, but when my children were very young our lives were forever altered by divorce and we often experienced real despair. Our economic status changed drastically. Though my three grown children are not famous they are stable self sufficient and conscientious citizens. My children learned early a life lived well requires optimism, hard work, and hope.
The tireless and true single mother deserves our vote. There is no contest—she is the Mother of the Year.
“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, And sings the tune—without the words, and never stops at all.” Emily Dickinson
Gail Cawley Showalter
Founder—SMORE for Women
www.smoreforwomen.org
First published in the Beaumont Enterprise on Mother's Day 2008
Single mothers far too often are ostracized
No contest. The Single Mother is the heroine.
What she does
She loves and adores her children just as other mothers do. She perseveres in mothering through all her heartaches as the children struggle to adapt to their disappointments. She delays her dreams and instills hope in their hearts. She endures thankless jobs and encourages her children to dream. She performs the mundane chores and keeps hoping for a brighter future. She often receives no financial assistance. And yet society accuses her. If she divorced, she is acted selfishly. If her husband abuses her, she chose wrongly. Even the widow with children is not considered a whole, but an incomplete family unit.
How is it we. . .
How is it we don’t see—or refuse to acknowledge—mothers stay to raise the children while—men leave. And yet we discriminate against the mother with headlines like “Are Single Moms Ruining American.” How is it we judge the single moms as the victims, not from another, but victims of their own choices?
How is it we can allow so many of our children’s fathers to escape paying for the basic essentials while the single mothers can’t support their children without a good education and can’t get an education without the funds to pay for it and for the childcare required while they do?
How is it we are not outraged that in 2002 nearly 40% of female-headed families with children under 18 officially lived in poverty? Economic disadvantage leads to a multitude of other problems.
How is it the single mother is left alone to shoulder the consequences for a choice she didn’t make alone? Rarely do any of millions of single moms intentionally plan to raise their children alone without the support of a partner. While it is true single mom families come in various styles most come to it after a defeat such as death or divorce. Expectations of raising children in a two-parent home are shattered. Their disappointment is compounded when their economic status declines rapidly.
Are we refusing to accept obvious solutions due to our preconceived notions? Haven’t we all made mistakes and poor choices? There are ways to break this cycle.
Break the cycle
Recently I visited an establishment that addresses the primary obstacles facing single mothers. The Buckner Family Place in Lufkin collaborates with government agencies and Angelina College to provide housing and childcare for single parent families striving for self sufficiency. Here the mom and her children rediscover their optimism, and through hard work renew their hope.
Buckner
As stated in their brochure, “Buckner Family Place programs help participants break the cycle of welfare dependence, reduce domestic violence in homes, and eliminate incidents of child abuse while building stronger families through security and education.”
After meeting with administrators I met several of the moms. I saw how a genuine caring program can ‘create futures’ for moms and their children. It is hard and intense work for a time with a goal of self sufficiency.
Mothers are given the gift of hope. Hope goes a long way towards creating a future. In the U.S. over ten million single mothers carry the load, continue on, and hope for a better day. The hope perched in her soul keeps her going.
Children of single moms
Regardless of common thought children raised by a single mother, especially one with education can do very well. Many successful people were raised by single mothers. Ed Bradley, CBS news correspondent, Maya Angelou, Pulitzer Prize, Tony, and Emmy Award winner, Lady Bird Johnson, Oprah, and Mother Teresa were all raised by a single mother.
I am happily remarried for almost twelve years, but when my children were very young our lives were forever altered by divorce and we often experienced real despair. Our economic status changed drastically. Though my three grown children are not famous they are stable self sufficient and conscientious citizens. My children learned early a life lived well requires optimism, hard work, and hope.
The tireless and true single mother deserves our vote. There is no contest—she is the Mother of the Year.
“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, And sings the tune—without the words, and never stops at all.” Emily Dickinson
Gail Cawley Showalter
Founder—SMORE for Women
www.smoreforwomen.org